Beeeeer

Today at the Sunday meeting, the elder of Little Zion Primitive Baptist Church, Joe Holder, mentioned that he had made the mistake of reading the Bloody Nib and noted that your faithful correspondent had an interest in beer. He told your correspondent that his son-in-law was a home brewer and that I might enjoy talking to said son-in-law.

Unfortunately for yours truly, the extended Holder clan had left the meeting hall by the time that I had taken care of business with some other P.B.s. I would have very much enjoyed discussing the world of hops, barley and malt with the young man. And to add to my sure knowledge that the lad is a benighted soul, I found out that he's a Vespa motor scooter fan, as am I (the world has never been the same since the demise of the Norton Commando and scooters, as silly as they are offer a viable alternative) who makes his way through the countryside on the major Italian contribution to modern life. I hope to exchange a few opinions with the young buck and learn a few things from him. And my former admiration for Elder Holder has increased. If he can put up with an amateur brewmaster and a Vespaist he's shown himself to be a man of great understanding and patience.

Having gone through the above preamble, the point of this post is to list my favorite beers.

One's preference in beer, of course, depend on personal taste. The important word is "taste." The big three, Budweiser, Miller and Coors, to your critic, have no taste. Genetically I should prefer Bud since my family has many generations of Missourians in the past. But Bud, no matter what type, is watery. Miller High Life tastes like old tires and Miller Draft is an imitation of Bud. Coors, during a misspent youth or listening to Credence Clearwater and the Eagles, was called Colorado Kool-Aid, because it had no taste. I like beer that tastes like something. Corona, Modelo, Tecate? Blah.

In a years long search I have managed to find that I don't like lager or pilsner. I much prefer ales, porters, stouts and bitters. I like a beer I can chew on. In other words, the English type beers. If my intention was to get drunk I think that a much better investment would be a bottle of Johnny Walker Black or Tullimore Dew and just take a couple of quick shots and save all the work of downing a bunch of beer. But, of course, your truly never drinks with the intention of getting drunk.

My all time favorite beer is Ballard Bitter brewed by the same company that makes Red Hook in Seattle. It's bitter and sublime and tastes great with Italian food. And if my dear niece living in Seattle had any sense of pity on her poor old uncle she'd send a case down here to the land of the lost.-monthly. Next is Guinness Stout from the tap in Ireland. It's like drinking cream. Then, in descending order, Stockyard Stout, Mac Tarnahan Porter, Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout, Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale, Rasputin Imperial Russian Stout, Fat Weasel Ale, Black Hart Stout, Mississippi Mud Black and Tan, and finally Old Inebriator (one is good for an afternoon) Stout. Old Inebriator was found by Sir Bob of La Puente, the uncle of Lady Nib, and a beer hearty drinker, to be a beer too strong for the Bud guzzler. It has, in my opinion, too much of an alcohol taste to be a great beer. Maybe it should be re-assigned to a mild whiskey category. Then it would, and I don't intend to appear anti-suffragette, could be called a lady's whiskey.

In the rating of beers your faithful correspondent has always made it a point to get input from Lady Nib, who is not a beer drinker, but who has good taste and a sense of what tastes good. Her ratings agree with mine except she rates Black Hart higher than Old Rasputin.

So, if you are a beer drinker, forget the German, French, Belgian (they all taste like bubble gum) and Italian stuff. The English type brews have the taste that makes memories.

But what do I know? I prefer blended Scotches to the single malt stuff when I can afford it. But the best is Irish. And I'm not an Irish-American, so there's no ethnic loyalty there.