Who's Sorry Now?

     Things have been rather busy here at Nib Manor what with dealing with shady real estate agents and talking to his solicitor about how to realize the most benefit from the selling of the late Baroness Nib's estate. Be it know that this writer is not a businessman and has no head for business. But that is the price of being a member of the lower aristocracy fitted for nothing much more than reading and writing and regretting lost opportunities as the lower nobility tend to do.
     This week your faithful correspondent has been spending a bit of time reading about the late writer Iris Chang. Ms Chang was a Chinese-American woman who wrote what many people consider the definitive book about the take over of Nanking China by the Japanese in the early days of World War II. The title of the book was "The Rape of Nanking." When the book was published it set off fire alarms in Japan because the Japanese have always denied that any such program of massacre, oppression and organized rape had taken place. Ms Chang was a troubled young woman suffering from depression and mild schizophrenia, and after her third book (about the Chinese experience in America) she took her own life.
     One of the things that she did after her book about Nanking she had the opportunity to meet a high level Japanese official. During the meeting for an apology from him, on behalf of the Japanese government, an apology for the rapes of Nanking and Shanghai. The man acknowledged that those incidents took place but did not apologize for them. She kept pressing him for an apology and he never did. She wanted the man to say, "I'm sorry. We, the Japanese, are sorry for our barbarity." She left the meeting frustrated and angry. The press screamed, "Japan refuses to apologize for atrocities of WW II!"
     In pondering this apology fetish this writer has found himself on the side of the non-apology crowd for historic wrongs simply for the reason that the apology demanded by many groups or people are demanded from people who had nothing to do with the offense. The Japanese official from whom Ms Chang demanded an apology had nothing to do with Nanking or the invasion of China. The man may not have even been alive during the incident. Most Japanese at the time of the meeting were not alive during the incident. Their fathers and grandfathers may have been, but does a son have the right, or does he have the obligation, to apologize for his father's sins? The most that the person can say that has any import and sincerity is that he or she regrets that the incident happened.
     Yours has noticed that Asians are particularly fond of apologies for past sins. Mao Tse-Tung used that tool to come into and stay in power. He demanded apologies and self-criticism from his lackeys and the people to the point that they would apologize and beg forgiveness for things that they had never done. The Japanese have demanded apologies for the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki while never apologizing for the invasions of China and Singapore and the bombing of Pearl Harbor. One wonders what the value of an apology from a person who had nothing to do with the offense is worth. To this writer, it means nothing.
     Let us assume, for a moment, that you, dear reader, punched a fellow in the nose for whatever reason. You threw the first punch. And once the fight was broken up and every spectator of the tussle agrees that you were in the wrong, your victim demands an apology and you refuse stalking away in high dudgeon. Now we fast forward to the reader's grandchildren. The grandson of the person you punched in the beak approaches your grandchild and says, "Hey, your grandpa punched my grandma in the nose and I want an apology. I want you to say you're sorry!" And your grandkid says, "My dear fellow, I had nothing to do with it. Talk to grandpa." And then another fight breaks out because the other kid has confused your grandkid with you. Does that make any damn sense?
     The only time that an apology is sincere is when it is from the person or persons who committed the offense. You cannot apologize for the actions of others. You can say that you can regret those acts. But you can't apologize.
     Early in his career as President of the United States Barack Obama took a tour of much of the Middle East, Africa and Europe on what was called The Apology Tour in which he apologized for every perceived offense against other nations by the U.S since 1776. And the result was a big yawn from the world except those who wanted to lay a sense of guilt on the U.S. It was an exercise in foolishness by a man who is, essentially, a fool.
     The time to apologize is immediately after the fact. If you accidentally hit a person in the head with a shovel one apologizes, or one has beat a foe to dust and realizes that one has gone a bit too far one apologizes. But to apologize to the Bank of America because one's father was a bank robber, or because one's great grandfather chased the army of the Madhi in the Sudan is just cheap and stupid. One cannot speak for one's ancestors. In fact, this writer would posit that nations cannot apologize.
     So, please, people trapped in the past, quit demanding apologies that we have no right to give. Is the lack from our vocabulary of the two words "I'm sorry" going to ruin your lives. If so, this writer feels sorry for you.