Sunday, August 13, 2006

Move along. Nuthin' happen' here.

Earlier this week we here at Bloody Nib Manor received the news, via the wireless, that a dastardly plot by British born Muslims, most of Pakastani descent, to blow up, using a form of liquid or gel explosive, aeroplanes traveling from the UK to the US over American territory. The last report we heard there had been approximately 24 people, both men and women, arrested in England and there is a search for more people with bad intentions.

The discovery of the conspiracy resulted in airports in both the Grand Republic and the Land of Green and Verdant Fields instituting a ban on liquids such as bottled water, duty free booze, and sports drinks, and gels such as hair gels, some toothpastes and mascara from being carried onto the planes as carry-on luggage. Flights have been delayed flights have been cancelled and lines at the airports have become long and slow.

It seems that most airline passengers have taken the new restrictions with good cheer. Some on the local talk radio stations have, on the other hand, taken the view that to place such restrictions on air travel have shown that the "terrorists have won" because the authorities have moved to restrict what is included in carry-on luggage. Your faithful correspondent has even heard cries that the liberties of the sons and daughters of the American Revolution have been violated because a traveler cannot take a bottle of Gatorade on the aerial conveyance. One radio yakker has even gone as far as to call the ban on liquids, gels, small electronic devices a case of "the further 'wussification' of America."

Besides the fact that said commentator's use of the word "wussification" when the more proper and stronger word "pussification" (or at least "bussification") the cry that the banning of certain materials as elements of carry-on luggage is a sign that the comptemporary opinion bender has become soft.

When your faithful correspondent was a laddie air travel was something done by the vulgar wealthy. Most people took the bus, the train or a car to reach their destination. Those going overseas booked passage on a ship. And, as an aside, a gentleman and gentlewoman still travel by sea instead of by air. Carry-on luggage on an aeroplane was unknown. And the carrying of bottles on water and sports drink was unheard of. Any air traveler expected to buy a gin and tonic or scotch and water to brace oneself for the unnatural act of flying and the drinks were brought to the passenger by a trim and lovely stewardess instead of a Denny's wait(ress) sporting a pair of wings on his/her chest. Business travelers worked out of notebooks instead of laptop computers. But then, it wasn't until about fifteen years ago that people became as attached to their bottles of water as they used to be attached to a pack of Camel. ...Here's the deal. We are at war. We are as much at war as we were during World War One or World War Two. The mistake that was made after September 11, 2001 was that the President and the government tried to play the game that there was nothing different and that we, as a society could just carry on as usual. This is not true. There are people both within and without the Republic who mean the United States no good. They mean to do us harm. They may even intend to institute Sharia law within the US. Just because we do not have massive armies and navies battling other massive armies and navies does not mean that we are not at war and that we do not have to make sacrifices both actual and symbolic.

During World War Two the civilian populace was subjected to food rationing, gas rationing, mandatory blackouts, racial and ethnic profiling, massive overtime in the defense industries and censorship. The result was the preservation of the liberties that we take for granted, and even abuse.

Now we're in a situation where the chattering classes try to foment a controversy about not carrying Dippity Do and iPods and Arrowhead water as carry-on luggage. How we have become to bitch about sacrificing water, music and hair gel for a few hours. It's enough to gag a maggot.

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