Don't Do It Ladies!

As regular readers of this blog should know, Bloody Nib Manor is a victim of Los Angeles in both sprawl and in television broadcasts. It has come to the attention of the inhabitants of the Manor that all too many women on television are in the process of making themselves look freakish. Such attempts are almost forgivable among actresses. The very act of being an actor or actress is freakish in and of itself. But when women who purport to supply the great unwashed with what is supposed to be news use their various beauticians and plastic surgeons to make themselves look less than natural, one finds oneself wondering, "if the presenter isn't real, could the news not be real".

A case in point is the female newsreader on KCAL at noon. Said newsreader (and for the sake of convenience sake we'll call her Mia) is an of Asian woman of some sort. She may be ethnically Chinese, Korean or Singaporean. Miss Mia, in contrast to her Asian sisters, has hair that is so blonde that it would have made the almost divine Brigitte Bardot, jealous (any excuse to post this pic of BB). Miss Mia seems to wear a larger cupped bra than the average Asian woman and she seems to have had collagen injected into her lips.

As those in the know know, the ever lovely Lady Nib is an Asian woman of the Japanese variety. Until very recently she had hair as black as a raven's wing and as thick and heavy as a Northwestern forest. The last few years a few strands of silver have appeared in her crowning glory and she wears her natural hair color proudly. She was blessed with a Bardot-like mouth, so the collagen injections would be useless. And as far as bra size goes, let's just say that Lady Nib wears a small. The almost divine Lady Nib is who and what she is and sees no reason to try to make herself into what she isn't. She's not a Barbie doll, she's not a California surfer girl and she's not an actress in blue movies. She's proud to be a Japanese-American Anglophile, and the only thing she ever wished to change about herself was to change her voice from one that sounded like Julie London to that of Kim Novak. Lady Nib calls Miss Mia "Freaky L---" because Miss Mia has done so much to deny what she is. Lady Nib looks askance at any Asian or Latin American woman who bleaches her hair (as does your correspondent, making an exception for Rita Hayworth) to conform with some strange homogeneous standard of appearance. It is, to her, like sticking a Mercedes-Benz emblem on a BMW.

Speaking as a male, yours agrees with Lady Nib. Women would be better off not dying or bleaching their hair to a color outside their racial group. Asian or Latin women with red hair, or Black women with blonde hair just looks not right. It's like putting a pinstripe suit on Johnny Cash or a tweed jacket and jeans on Tom Wolfe. No collagen treatment on lips looks good. They usually come out lopsided, and at best look weird. Maureen O'Hara, Margaret O' Sullivan and Marlene Dietrich were all attractive women despite the fact that they didn't have pouting lips. As far as breast enlargement -- have at it if you want to look like a porn star. It'll make your kids proud. Audrey Hepburn and BB were happy with God gave them and they did well in making men trip over their tongues chasing them.

But maybe it's just because I'm a hairist, lipist,breastist dog that I say such things.