Not Your Dad's ....

This writer is an occasional reader of blogs and websites containing reviews of beer and pipe tobacco.

The interesting thing about the reviews is the constant refrain of, "This isn't your Dad's beer". or "This isn't your Dad's pipe tobacco."

The unstated implication is that you Dad had no taste at all in matters of beer or tobacco because he drank Miller High Life instead of Hog's Head Summer Special Ale, and smoked Carter Hall in his pipe instead of Frog Morton or Three Noggins. In other words, your Dad was a dope and a philistine and a tool of corporate America and the blanding of beer and tobacco.

Well, guess what? You're wrong. Your Dad was a man. A real man. Your Dad was a Stoic in a way that you, the reviewer, aren't. Your Dad took what was there and made the best of it. He wanted beer and he chose Schlitz over Hamm's. He wanted pipe tobacco and chose Velvet over Prince Albert. His beer and pipe tobacco needs were satisfied by easily available products and he didn't pretend to be a connoisseur. Your Dad knew what beer and tobacco were for; relaxation and fellowship. He did regard beer and tobacco the same way that a Frenchman regards wine and cheese. Your Dad had no time for such nonsense. He was a working man and a family man, and any time he had left over was spent doing manly things like fishing, hunting or working on the car.

Your Dad didn't bother to spend the extra money to buy a six pack of St. Pauli Girl unless he was a German, or buy a can of Balkan Sobranine unless he was an Englishman. Your Dad drank American lager or pilsner, or smoked American Cavendish or Virginia blends. He didn't bother with the foreign stuff cost too much and the experience only lasted five minutes after the last quaff or puff. And he figured that the extra cost was not worth the experience.

Your Dad was a guy who helped build the nation. He wasn't a dilettante. He worked to make the highways or airplanes or buildings that you use to buy your fancy beers or tobacco. And he probably never has had the chance to engage in you little hobbies. You Dad drank Rolling Rock or Pabst and, smoked Sir Walter Raleigh or Prince Albert, and he was satisfied. He didn't bitch about the beer being "thin" or the tobacco having a bite.

Your Dad, probably without knowing it, was a student of the Roman philosopher Epictetus, while you seem often to be a student of Epicurus. Ask yourself which philosopher's teaching will result in a strong nation.

Next Sunday is Fathers' Day. If your Dad is still living call or visit him and tell him how much you appreciate what he has done for you and that you pray that you will be the man for your children that he was for you. And if your Dad has passed on take the time to remember him and thank the memory that you have of him. Crack a Bud and fill your pipe with Barking Dog and try to live up to what your Dad was.

And if your Dad was a jerk, an idiot and a rounder, make it a point to be a better man. Fancy beer and fancy tobacco will not make you a better man than your Dad. It'll just make you a snob.